Cinderella Syndrome

Are you waiting for your prince charming?
Do you strongly believe that everything will fall in place once you meet Mr. Right?
Do you feel you require some one else to take care of you?
Do you frequently find yourself in the situation where you are too much dependent on someone, may it be financially, emotionally or in any other aspect?
Do you often feel like you are not capable enough to take responsibility for your own actions?
If yes, its high time to get out of that fantasy world.

‘Cinderella Syndrome‘, as described by Colette Dowling, is a subconscious desire to be taken care of by others. Particularly observed in women, it is one of the major hurdles in the way of their growth. There could be different reasons for different people to develop this syndrome, but upbringing plays a vital role.

If you are born and brought up like a typical women, you might have noticed that women are always expected to be more tolerant, sacrificing & dependent for their actions. And the same is taught to most of the girls from the very beginning of their childhood. We are always supposed to be dependent on a man to handle our finances, for safety, decision making & to feel frightened without one. We are considered as delicate & too needful of protection. And these series of events, subconsciously forces us to believe that we could end up being happy only if we manage to find the perfect partner, and our lives would be miserable if we can’t. That’s where we get trapped in ‘The Cinderella Syndrome’

This fear remains deeply buried until we keep ourselves limited to the fancy world of fairy tales. And then comes the moment where we have to step out of that fairyland. That’s when we experience the real world, we learn, explore & strive towards freedom. This is the time when our fear becomes the troublemaker. This is the time to look at the Cinderella story from a different standpoint.

Try some effective initiatives to combat the Cinderella complex & get the things sorted:

  • Break down the stereotypes: Don’t let the typical society norms dominate your life your ambitions. We often notice people judging us based on their assumptions about what a girl should do & should not. But do you always need to follow the rule book of so-called ‘Good Girl Qualities’? I guess NO!! Coz people are gonna judge you anyway, whether you are married, single, divorced or lesbian, ambitious or not, it’s better to learn to ignore the unnecessary critics. It is your life, take charge.
  • Step out of your comfort zone: Be adventurous, be more creative, more fun, try new things, adopt out of the box thinking, keep experimenting. There’s so much out there to explore. Accept your flaws, your mistakes & deal with them. Be brave enough to make unique choices.
  • Change your perspective: What if Cinderella would have never met the prince? Wasn’t she capable of resolving her problems? What if she didn’t rely on the prince to escape her miserable life? Maybe not only her but the prince was also searching for the right type of person. So eventually the moral of the tale also change if we change our perspective. Same with the real-life scenarios. We could resolve most of our problems if we slightly change our perspective towards them
  • Take control of your life: Many times we get stuck in the situations where we don’t know what are we supposed to do. That’s when the fear takes over & we give others the right to make important decisions for us. Never, I repeat, never give authority to anyone to take control over your life. Of course, there are times when we need support, opinions & discussions, but in the end, no one else is gonna walk in your shoes. So learn to make decisions for yourself & be brave enough to take responsibility for the outcomes.
  • It’s okay to be a little selfish: Don’t we all sometimes regret being ‘Too Good’ to others. Or we sometimes get stuck into pathetic situations just because we don’t feel right to say ‘No’. To be honest, nobody is gonna give you a medal for your sacrifices, patience & the so-called dependencies. So stop being the victim & learn to prioritize yourself. You are the CEO of your life, do what works for you.
  • Know your worth: It’s not at all wrong to dream about the perfect soulmate but the dilemma of being incomplete without one is. We don’t need to wait for someone’s arrival to fulfil our wish list. We are self-sufficient to be the in-charge of our destiny. To be our own Superhero!

We don’t require anything or anyone outside of us to complete us. Everything we require is already within us. Everything begins with you. Step into your own power and live the life of your choices.

Love Light and Abundance
By Aavantika

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